There's A Prisoner In My Head Poem by Amethyst Lixie
There's A Prisoner In My Head
There's a prisoner in my head
I hear her tiny screams in the silence of the night
When everybody's asleep she's fighting off her frights
She's suffocating in the midst of my dark thoughts
Suffering throughout the everlasting storms in my head.
She tries to rewrite the words on the dull walls of my skull
But the creatures hurt her. They stab her.
Leaving her in the dark
She has wounds and scars and blisters
From all the times I beat myself up
She's hanging on a tiny little string
Holding on....and not giving up
Finally when the day is over and I am calm she whispers
'Please help me out? '
I shrug my shoulders in regret. I don't know how. I don't know how she even got locked in there.
Hearing her voice, the prisoner was no longer was a stranger
But was now familiar
Someone well known from before
The prisoner in my head is a little girl
One that holds a bright light in her
The little girl is me
The little me who'd smile and brighten up the mood
She tries to keep that last bit of fire I have left
No matter how tired
When more darkness continues to devour small parts of me
She fights and grabs on
She's willing to go deep lengths
This prisoner in my mind
She knows I'm still in there
So she'll spend all her time
Searching for the find.
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A wonderful poem where you delve into the complexities on the mind.
line 16; you've imprisoned an 'extra' 'was' in your line. ;) PLEASE show it out aka let it out.
'One that holds a bright light in her'....? I looked for the end of the sentence; what word would follow 'her'? ? But you have an unusual style: (ALMOST) no punctuation AND beginning EVERY line with CAPITAL letter. (cont.)
Loved this poem of great depth and philosophical touch. Congratulations on POD
I found this poem because I read in 'Notifications' that my friend Savita Tyagi had liked it and 'Notifications' gave a snippet of it. Gee, I don't think I've EVER used the word 'snippet'! ! bri ;)
I'd give 4 1/2 stars if I could, but NOT 5! The theme of the poem and the way you've put the story together...I LIKE. The title fits. Actually it sounds like there are 2 prisoners: You Now & You as your Younger Self. : ((
'Searching for the find.' Ok, 'find' rhymes with 'mind', but......I don't like it here. Yes, 'find' can be a verb OR a noun, but.....MAYBE use 'searching for a cure to find'? ? I give 4 stars. bri : )
(cont.) 'She's willing to go deep lengths This prisoner in my mind' : Using 'my style', I'd put a comma after 'lengths', and a period after 'mind', and use 'this', not 'This'.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/19/2024 4:01:48 PM # 1.0.0.1119
I take a antidepressant myself. I am just saying that it helps if you are bogged down. I think it is better to be happy than constantly trying to pick myself up.