Lost Years Poem by Diana Kouprina

My lost years
On This. That. And The Other.
Feel the pain of others
Never feeling pain in me.
Pain. Love. Push Away.
Screaming out love me.
This and that.
Take the white.
Take the brown.
Mix it up,
Melt it down.
Shoot it up.
Or don't.
Snort it
Don't melt it.
Mix it up.
Safety first.
Spirals spinning
Up and Down.
The in between
Screaming out
In silence
Death.
I love. I love.
Just love me back.
This that and the other
Costumes, dressed up
Diamonds
Made up
Naked
Exposed
Floating
Hurt me
Just love me
Loneliness is pain.
Just love me,
Mix it up,
Shoot it up
Or leave it.
Snort it.
Safety first.

Loneliness is pain
Palatable
Inside out
Leave but don't leave
Take it all
Take the bits
Take the pieces,
Take it all.
But don't leave

Loneliness is pain.
It's palatable.
Cling on
Hang on.
Take it all.
Everything I got.
Own it
Control it
Hurt it
Hate it
Cut it
Beat it
Only a body
Flesh
Useless
Selfish
Fat
Ugly
Slow
Unfeeling
But loneliness is pain

That's felt
It hurts
Make it stop
Take it all
Take everything I got.
Just don't leave me.
Loneliness is palatable.
Don't leave me
Is all I ask.

Shoot it up,
Snort it
Safety first.
Spinning
Spiraling
Rippling
Drowning
Floating
Nothing matters
Exposed flesh
Skin and bone
Mind screaming
In silence
Hurt me
But don't leave me
My lost years
On this that and the other.

©️Diana Kouprina